Keith Deltano, a self described “Christian comedian” is back.  On October 3, 2011, he’ll appear at Smarts Mill Middle School in Leesburg for anti-bullying assemblies and a parent meeting.  According to his secular anti-bullying web site,  “no workshop is complete without teaching parents how to protect their children form online porn and gambling as well as bullying.”  Why he discusses porn and gambling in an anti-bullying program is a puzzle.  He may not have any real bullying expertise, like this, or he may believe that these things;  bullying, gambling and porn are somehow related.  I hope somebody asks.

Deltano first visited in 2007 and caused a controversy when he humiliated students and provided inaccurate information and horrible parenting advice.  He told parents not to trust their kids.  He said that kids will lie to parents, so parents have to spy on them.  If I recall, he said “you know that cute Nemo toy?  Your kid will hide an SDRAM full of porn in there“.  He also instructed parents to humiliate their kids.  “If your daughter is listening to raunchy music, make her repeat all the words back to you.” Authoritarian instruction is a Deltano theme.  His methods don’t help parents open communication channels.  They close them down.

On his Christian Comedian web site, Deltano explains a bit more about himself (emphasis mine).

“Christian comedy is rarely used for its entertainment value alone. Event organizers have used Christian comedy as a tool for outreach, fundraisers, gospel presentations, youth events and to deal with specific issues that are important to the body of Christ. A short list of these issues would include sexual abstinence, overcoming drug and alcohol abuse, strengthening marriage, singles issues, and scriptural inerrancy and apologetics. The list is as long as the topics that challenge us all….

Or, one could look at the fruit of Christian Comedy to determine if it is a valid and God honoring evangelistic tool. I have witnessed, as have many others, thousands come forward at the end of a comedic presentation. (The presenting comedian is more serious during the conclusion of a gospel presentation.)  Am I a comedian or a funny Christian youth speaker?  Can I be both? Many Christian comedians have used their abilities to raise funds for Crises Pregnancy Centers throughout the country.”

This time around, Deltano will address bullying.  He’s well aquainted with the topic.  In his abstinence gig, he shames and humiliates students.  At one point he holds a cinder block over a prone male student’s crotch.  The Smarts Mill PTA and administration seem to think he’s a good investment.  Maybe we should trust them give him a second chance.  His bullying routine has some good content.  In Mean Girls, he describes bullying by exclusion.

“how do you decide who’s in and who’s out…that’s bullying…my value comes from who I am…I’m a Wal-Mart shopper and i’m proud…You cannot judge people by clothing and appearance you should never pick on people for their clothing and appearance”

He’s on to something.  Exclusion – making a person an outcast – is a form of bullying.  If I had one question for Keith Deltano, it would be:

“If a student is told that she doesn’t or shouldn’t exists, is that bullying?”

Ask yourself that question as you watch Deltano’s Pregnant In The USA: Sex Sells video.  The featured photo shows Deltano imitating a girl’s unintended pregnancy.  “Sex sells” he says but the “result of sex“; pregnancy and disease, doesn’t.  His message is that a pregnant girl isn’t sexy.  She’s rather ugly.  Nobody wants her.  She has nothing to be proud of.  She’s not like a “Wal-Mart shopper”.  She’s an outcast.  She’s in a shameful state.  She shouldn’t exist, at least not in his secular context.

If he switched to his “Christian” context, she would no longer exist as an independent person.  She’d be a ward of the state, a vessel for the “most vulnerable member of society“.  But this is his secular show, so she’s just fat, ugly and shameful.

What message is Deltano sending to a real-world pregnant girl?  She’s a person who shouldn’t exist.  She’s going to get fat and ugly.

What option does she have to avoid the shame?  What’s the path of least resistance?

Abortion?

Thanks Keith!