“That’s retarded!” or any derivation of that word?

I work with and link to and get linked from disabilities activists (and I’m on the Loudoun County Community Services Board (and the VACSB)) and using “retard” or any derivation of that word is like using “nigger”. By using that word to describe a person or action, you’re not insulting that person or action. Instead, you’re saying that likening that person or action to people with intellectual disabilities is inherently insulting. Which means you’re insulting an entire community of people who are blameless.

I have been assured that people with intellectual disabilities do, indeed, feel insulted when that word is used. And they would like for all of us to please just stop using it at all and particularly to stop using it as a way to insult people or actions that are spectacularly foolish or inept.

I am assured by people with physical disabilities that “lame” is similarly hurtful.

Since I tend to NOT want to hurt innocent bystanders when I make criticisms of behaviors I find ludicrous or inane, I have modified my vocabulary accordingly.

Alternatives to “retarded” and/or “lame”: Foolish, inept, uncool, clumsy, inane, obtuse, dull, disappointing, unthinking, misguided, disasterously unsuccessful.

Please add your own alternatives to these words in comments.

Comments that ask what ever happened to freedom of speech* will be deleted from the comments thread, but I will keep a tally of them and will post a total later.

Comments that use offensive words just to use offensive words and not to offer up non-offensive alternatives will be deleted.

*Freedom of Speech is your ability to create your own blog and say what you like there.

Hi! I’m Liz Miller. I am the wife of Stevens Miller, the current Dulles District Supervisor. I blog as The Doorbell Queen, and often give the impression of being a generally light-hearted, easy-going person.

Here is the truth: I am the one who argued for a commenting policy.

I am the one who is fastest with the ban-hammer.

I am the one who doesn’t like people attacking other people on-line.

I don’t like to see insults passing back and forth.

I don’t like comments on blogs about people’s looks, or level of intelligence, or sexuality, or state of mental health, or whether they are gender-conforming, or their personality problems, or who they may or may not be sleeping with.

And here’s where I’m a hypocrite…I will absolutely join in those conversations in person or in email, but I won’t allow it on a blog I’ve got any admin power over.

So, on this blog, we do not allow you to call anyone a bitch, even if I am one.

And I do not allow you to say, “That’s so lame” or “that’s so gay” or “that’s retarded”.

“Lapdog” is a phrase that is used almost exclusively about men whom people are accusing of being under the thrall of someone else, (almost always a woman). It is belittling, and sexist, and I’m unhappy with its use on this blog. My co-bloggers overruled my putting the user of this phrase into moderation.

Today is that user’s lucky day.

Our policy boils down to:

Come one, come all. Be kind, be respectful, stay on topic.

If you think someone is breaking the policy, please don’t call them out for it in the thread. Instead, you can email me, or put a comment on our commenting policy page.

Thank you for your cooperation and contributions.